WELCOME BACK - HOW I GOT MY ENERGY BACK

8. Feb.
6 Min. Lesezeit

A MAGICAL LIFE - PART I (ENGLISH VERSION)

“Do you know what's so awful about it? At that moment, you don't feel protected and guided, but simply like a total failure who can't get anything right.” I sent this message to one of my friends after a few extremely eventful days.

LET'S START FROM THE BEGINNING:

For months, I had been completely burned out energetically—and I don't mean that slight exhaustion that can be compensated for with a free weekend—but a deep, persistent fatigue that had crept up on me not only inside, but also quite literally in my body. I found it difficult to get up, keeping appointments took a disproportionate amount of energy, and no matter what I did, it just didn't feel right anymore, it didn't feel coherent, as if I were constantly fighting against something invisible.

And yet, or perhaps precisely because of this, I wanted to get myself out of this situation.

So I signed up for an event that interested me both personally and professionally, the kind of event that gives you the feeling that it could make a difference or at least provide some impetus. I had been looking forward to it for days, everything was organized, booked, and planned down to the smallest detail, and the trip was scheduled for a Friday.

On Friday morning, however, that feeling I know all too well crept up on me, that inner rumbling, that restlessness that can escalate into real anxiety for me, a feeling with a very clear message that is not loud but unmistakable, saying, “Let it be. Don't do it.”

This feeling is familiar to me, and yet, despite years of experience, I keep having the same internal discussion, telling myself that it could just be excitement or fear because I'm leaving my comfort zone, thereby ignoring exactly what has long felt clear to me.

At that point, my spiritual team, the universe, my guardian angel (call it whatever feels right to you) stepped in and initiated the next step (which, incidentally, is also very familiar to me): my body was asked to knock me out. It did an excellent job—as always. So I finally gave in and decided to leave the next day. It seemed reasonable to let the hotel know that I would be arriving later. However, only to find out that this hotel probably doesn't even exist.

On Friday afternoon, I was even able to laugh about it and, in retrospect, was very happy about my good connections, which had saved me from an extremely questionable overnight situation.

THE NEXT DAY:

So on Saturday morning, I started packing my things again, full of enthusiasm and prepared for all eventualities—if necessary, I could even have slept in the car. No sooner had I finished loading the car than that feeling came back, and I think you can well imagine what I did. Exactly. I ignored it. And I thought to myself, “If I'm really not supposed to go there, my spiritual team will surely come up with something else to make me understand.” No sooner said than done.

Less than 10 minutes later, my car started making very interesting noises on the highway, in the middle of overtaking. You can imagine how thrilled I was, right? Not at all. I accepted (or surrendered—I'm not quite sure) and drove off the highway and back home via the country road (because the noises didn't occur when driving slowly), which took over 1.5 hours.

Back home, I was angry with myself, caught up in brooding and doubt, until it finally dawned on me that there was absolutely no point in continuing to argue with myself or the universe.

No one knew I was home, so I might as well curl up on the couch, distract myself, and escape from it all for a moment.

I turned on the TV and got stuck watching a movie about an author who taught students, and something about him and the questions he asked his students stuck with me. It worked on me, quietly, until this thought popped into my head, inconspicuous and yet crystal clear: Why don't you just start writing again?

The next day, I got up and did just that. I finally started writing blog articles again, began jotting down book ideas, without striving for perfection, without a plan, simply in the moment, and as I wrote, I felt something gradually returning to me, as energy, strength, and clarity slowly found their way back to me.

Actually, the story could end here, but that would be too easy, wouldn't it?

A FEW DAYS LATER:

My car came back from the repair shop just in time for another scheduled trip, and when I picked it up, they told me I was lucky because there had been a serious problem with the brakes and it would not have been a good idea to continue driving.

So, together with my boyfriend, I carried all my luggage to the car (which, mind you, had just come back from the repair shop completely repaired and had been working perfectly a few hours earlier). Now, however, it could neither be unlocked nor started (and no, it wasn't the key battery; we changed it several times without success).

So once again, I canceled all my appointments, curled up on the couch, and seriously asked myself what was wrong with me. Then, almost resigned, I turned on the TV again. A dance movie was playing, and something stirred inside me again, a memory of one of my favorite dance movies from my youth, Step Up 3, and at the same time the realization that dancing plays a central role in many of the realities I travel through as a world wanderer.

WELTENWANDERER - WORLDWANDERER - EXPLANATION:

Consciously entering, experiencing, and exploring other realities and levels of consciousness.

If dancing is always so important to me there (and was also important to me here during my childhood and youth), why haven't I made room for it in my life right now?

So I immediately watched Step Up 3 and remembered that I already knew the characters in the film from my previous life in the in-between world. So I invited them back to my in-between world.

ZWISCHENWELT - IN-BETWEEN-WORLD - EXPLANATION:

A plane of reality that creates a connection between this reality and all other existing realities—a kind of meeting zone, if you will—perhaps like a Zoom meeting room in our world.

They came, were surprised and also a little irritated by what had become of the energetic Chrissie of yesteryear, and yes, the truth sometimes hurts 😉. They decided to help me, and so began a little interworld dance training, which gradually manifested itself in this world as well.

With every step, every movement, every conscious invitation, my energy returned.

CHARACTERS FROM MOVIES, TV SERIES, AND BOOKS - EXPLANATION:

What exactly these contacts are can be understood in very different ways, depending on the model or worldview you are working with: for some, they are inner images, for others, energetic companions or creative archetypes... Ultimately, it's less about the label and more about finding something that feels right for you.

HOW THIS HAS CHANGED MY LIFE:

I had started over 20 books and finished none of them. Within seven days, I wrote a complete book manuscript, which is currently being edited. My everyday life has changed completely. I get up early without an alarm clock, look forward to the day, have strength, energy, and a good mood, and I have realized that creative expression is not a hobby that takes up a place on the margins of my life, but an essential source of life energy that deserves much more space in my everyday life.

P.S. By the way, I later got back the money for the hotel booking that didn't actually exist 😉

QUESTIONS & REFLECTIONS FOR YOU:

Where in your life do you still have internal discussions, even though the answer has long been there?
What would happen if you trusted your inner guidance one step earlier?
How does the universe/your spiritual team communicate with you?
And honestly: What magical moments have you experienced in which your form of magic became active?